All T-Shirts

I Often Worry About The Safety Of My Children

Hate When People Accuse Me Of Lolly Gagging When I'm Quite Clearly Dilly Dallying

Some Days, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Restraints

You Know The Little Thing Inside Your Head That Keeps Saying Things You Shouldn't

I've Done Terrible Things For Money Like Waking Up Early To Go To Work

Naughty Nice Tried My Best

I'm Only Responsible For What I Say, Not For What You Understand

I Ate Some Pi ...And It Was Delicious!

I Didn't Mean to Push Your Buttons, I Was Just Looking For Mute!

Admit It... Life Would Be Boring Without Me.

Try Saying "Do I Smell Popcorn" After You Fart, So Everybody Takes A Deep Breath.

A Salt With A Deadly Weapon

Surprise Sex Is The Best Thing To Wake Up To. Unless You're In Prison

Be Careful When You Follow The Masses. Sometimes The "M" Is Silent

Holy Crap! Larry, Is That You

You Find It Offensive I Find It Funny. That's Why I'm Happier Than You

You Had Me At "We'll Make It Look Like An Accident"

I Never Dreamed That One Day I'd Become A Grumpy Old Man But Here I Am Killing it!

You Look Really Stupid With Your Head Like That

Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed

Of Course I Talk To Myself Sometimes I Need Expert Advice

If History Repeats Itself I Am So Getting A Dinosaur

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms Should Be A Convenience Store

My Dog Thinks I'm Cool

I Don't Like Morning People... Or Mornings... Or People...

I Prefer Not To Think Before Speaking I like Behing Surprised

Words Cannot Express How Much I Don't Care

That's Too Much Bacon Said No One Ever

One Of Us Is Right

That's A Horrible Idea What Time

I Am An Enganeer Engeneer Enginear I'm Good With Math

A Day Without Coffee Is Like... Just Kidding, I Have No Idea.

My Stomach Is Flat The L Is Just Silent

Hi, I Don't Care. Thanks.

My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Sister